


The aftermath

by iba



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drunk Sex, Eating Disorders, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 19:55:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16980807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iba/pseuds/iba
Summary: A reimagining of how Veronica ended up in JD's room.TW!!! Non-consexual sex, self harm, minor suicidal thoughts and eating disorder.JD is not meant to be a villain, he just doesn't know Veronica doesn't want this because she is too drunk to say no.This is mostly musical based





	The aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> Is this me projecting onto characters again? Absoutely  
> Hope this makes sense

Veronica staggered out of Ram's house and stumbled down the street, away from the scene of the most embarrassing moment of her life. She'd drunk enough that her mind was blurry and her movements were uncoordinated, she knew she'd never be able to make it all the way home.

“What do I do?” she mumbled to herself, clinging to a lamppost as she racked her brain. _ Did anyone live nearby? Heather Duke did, but that was out of the question. Her only real friend was Martha, but she couldn't face Martha right now. Besides, Martha's house was further than her own.  _

 

Veronica continued to walk aimlessly down the street, hoping for familiar roads to appear. 

As Veronica rounded a corner, she saw the glowing lights of a 7/11. She didn't think there has ever been a more welcome sight in her life. She'd bought Heather corn nuts there earlier tonight, it felt like aeons ago now.  _ Crap don't think about Heather. She's going to murder me. Oh god. I'll deal with that later. Right now I need to get home. _

 

She entered the store, hoping to find a payphone to call her parents. They would be angry she was drunk, or worse, disappointed, but it would still be better than sleeping on the street. As she walked through the aisles, she saw a familiar sight. That guy in a trench coat was still there. The one that had flirted with her and tried to buy her a slushie.  _ What was his name? Jake? And what's he still doing here? Does he live here or something?! _

 

“Greetings and salutations” he called out, a smirk playing across his lips. 

“Heyyyy” she replied, drawing the word out in her drunken state.

“You're back! Couldn't keep away from me?” he said, winking.

Veronica cringed. “Actually I'm just here for the payphone, I need my parents to pick me up. Sorry to disappoint.” 

“Well…” he drawled, “I too am sorry to disappoint, but the payphone is out of order. But, I'm Jason Dean, I can't leave such a pretty lady in distress. You can come home with me, stay the night. Whaddya say?”

Veronica considered his offer, she barely knew the guy, but she really had no other options. Before she could change her mind, she said “Thanks! I'll do that.” 

 

JD headed out the door and she trailed behind him, until they made it to his bike.

“Hold on tight,” he warned, and she did, scared of falling.

It was only a short ride to his house, and soon enough, they were sitting at his desk. 

“Got any alcohol?” Veronica wondered out loud.

“Haven't you drunk enough?” He replied raising an eyebrow.

_ I need to forget. I need to drink until I black out. _

She gave him her best impression of Martha's puppy dog eyes, until he gave in and pulled a bottle of rum from under his bed.

He poured a glass for each of them, and raised his to toast her. “Sláinte”

Veronica didn't bother replying, just took a big gulp of the rum.

 

She didn't know how much time passed, JD was playing some goth record, and they were both drinking heavily.

 

Time was going too fast for her to keep up.

 

They were lying on the floor.

 

Then they were in JD's bed and he was kissing her and she didn't know what to feel. But she didn't stop him.

 

The next thing she was aware of was him touching her everywhere, and she had a vague awareness of this is wrong, this is bad, this is not what I want. But there must have been a disconnect between her thoughts and her speech, because she didn't say anything, just let it happen.

 

Suddenly she was awake in JD's bed, light streaming through the curtains. She felt JD pressing against her, and she tried to pull away, but she was trapped between him and the wall.

“Morning” he said softly.

Veronica was confused as to why she was in his bed. She looked down and noticed she was topless.

“No no no no no no!” she whimpered feeling sick. 

“Please pass me my clothes,” she begged.

He did and she quickly got dressed, desperate to cover up the evidence of what happened.

“It's okay baby,” he murmured, “we just had a bit of fun.”

“No it's not!” she snapped, “and don't call me baby!”

 

She climbed out of his bed, and was hit with a wave of nausea. She collapsed at his desk, and JD soon appeared with a glass of water. She drank thirstily, but it made her feel more sick, and soon she was running to his toilet to vomit. Again. JD followed, and she wanted to scream at him that she didn't want him anywhere near her, and she didn't want him to see her like this. But she let him hold her hair back as her body rejected the copious amounts of alcohol she had consumed last night.

 

_ I need to leave right now. I don’t know what happened last night but I need to get home. _

“Well, thanks for helping me last night, but I gotta get home now,” she announced, scanning the room for any remaining items of clothing.

“So soon Babe?” JD pleaded, “stay a little more! Besides you just threw up, you’re in no state to leave.”

Veronica couldn’t help but agree that walking home wouldn’t be the best idea right now, so she reluctantly decided she would stay for an hour. JD was talking non-stop, but she didn’t take in a word he said, her brain was too busy trying to process last night. As soon as her hour was up, she sprang out of her seat and pulled her shoes on.

“Hey, I’ll walk you home.” JD announced.

“No!” Veronica replied, too fast. JD’s face fell, but he nodded and let her leave.

 

The fresh air was welcome to Veronica, the walk home passed in a blur as she resolutely tried to avoid thinking about all the events of the previous night. It had been one disaster after another, and she dreaded to think what could have happened in the gap between getting to JD’s house and waking up that morning. She could only remember a couple of moments, all the rest slipped through her fingers, to her terror but also relief. No matter how much she tried to distract herself from what happened, her thoughts kept returning to waking up topless in his bed. She felt so ashamed.  _ It should never have happened. I don’t even like him. I’m a dirty slut.  _

 

As soon as she was home, Veronica headed to the bathroom. As she stripped, she realised her bra was inside out. Her heart sank at the proof that he had indeed taken her bra off, this was real. She turned the shower as hot as possible and scrubbed her skin. She wanted to feel clean again, to wipe away JD’s touch, and make it as if it had never happened. She hadn’t made the conscious decision to reach for the razor, but here it was in her hand. Sinking to the floor of the shower, she dragged it over her thigh. It burned, but the pain in her heart was worse. She made nine parallel cuts, one for each letter of Jason Dean. Now he had a mark on her body to reflect the mark he had left on her mind.

 

She didn’t know how long she had been sitting in the shower, but when the hot water ran out, she forced herself to get up and get into pyjamas.  _ Like I didn’t last night _ . She put all the clothes she had been wearing in the washing basket, but she knew deep down that she would never wear them again. They were stained, tainted, impure.  _ Like me _ .

 

She lay down on her bed and let time pass her by once again. At some point her mother knocked on the door to tell her Martha was on the phone. She had completely forgotten that she’d promised to explain everything to her today to get her to leave the party. Martha was the last thing on her mind right now, but she owed it to her to act normal. She almost succeeded too. She’d told Martha about the note and the pinata, apologising for both, but as Martha reminisced about Ram in the good old days, she knew she was about to be sick again.

“I’ve got to go” she gasped, and hung up as Martha called her name. Racing to the toilet, she threw up, trying not to think about how JD had seen her do that this morning. Or how she’d thrown up on Heather.  _ No no no stop thinking _ .

 

Her mother called her for lunch, but she ignored her, and pretended to be asleep when she came to check on her. Dinner time came and went, but she hadn’t moved from her bed. At first it was because she felt too sick to eat, but as the hours passed she began to relish in the hunger pangs. It felt like punishment. There was a certain purity in her stomach being empty. And she was disgusting. She didn’t deserve to eat. Maybe if she lost enough weight, this tainted body would be transformed into another, one that he had never touched. Or maybe she would die. That didn’t sound too bad right now either. Every time she shut her eyes, she relived waking up, the moment her world had shattered into a million pieces.  _ I don’t know who I am anymore. _

Everything was different now. The day was over, she’d survived. She wanted to sleep, but she was too scared to close her eyes, so she lay in bed staring at the ceiling until her eyes burned, waiting for the sun to come up, so she could start a new, hopefully better, day.

 


End file.
